NEWS WE DO NOT WANT TO READ

KUALA LUMPUR 17 JULY - The Government will build a Film Center of Excellence somewhere on the outskirt of Mumbai, India. A Government spokesperson said the center is to leapfrog Malaysia's film-making to international standard after being repeatedly bettered by films from Korea, Thailand and Singapore.

Films produced in Mumbai will also "be better received in Malaysia because it will not be local films anymore."

When questioned on the choice of Mumbai as the location of the center, the spokesperson gave several reasons:

1. Proximity to Bollywood and its vast technical expertise
2. With the increase in electricity tariff and petrol, it is cheaper to produce films there
3. Actors and crew would be more comfortable with food in Mumbai than , say, in Hollywood
4. Veteran actors and crew can get betel-leaf (sirih) more easily in Mumbai
5. Air Asia will soon get landing rights to Mumbai or thereabout.

The cost of the center could not be ascertained at press time but the spokesperson gave an assurance that it will be cheaper than the center in England as the cost would be in rupees.

The relevant minister would not comment, opting instead for elegant silence.

- BENAR MA