Di Bawoh Rang Ikang Kering
Random Ramblings of A Retired Retainer


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Somehow, I got to thinking about my ustaz (religious teacher).

In college, we had Ustaz Dahlan. Yes, he was the famous Ustaz Dahlan, Pegawai Khalwat that caught couples in dark places in the 60's.

In SIC, Kota Bharu, we had Ustaz Abdullah Mohamad (Nakula) who made agama lessons very lively and fun. I remember distinctly a lesson about wudhu and how your burung should be handled to avoid invalidating (batal) your wudhu. He grasped a chalk with the sides of two fingers and asked everyone in turn, "Now you are holding it like this and urinating, batal or not?" Many of us missed the point and said no.

I heard that our ustaz has passed away. I last met him when we had a small reunion at Kompleks Sekolah Wakaf Mek Zainab in Kota Bharu. Our ustaz was a prolific writer and published many books under the nome de plume Nakula.

In SSSS Kuala Terengganu we had Ustaz Hj. Mahmud Salim and Ustaz Hj.Manan. Allahyarham Ustaz Hj. Mahmud Salim regaled us with his experience in Mekah especially how the kibas (sheep) was cooked. We all practically salivated on hearing his stories about the food he ate in Makkah Al Mukaramah. I didn't get to taste kibas when I was there but I did taste camel meat.

When it came to Islamic History, Ustaz Mahmud Salim picked a few of us (including me) to read from a glossy book about the various Caliphates. He then closed his eyes and listened, seemingly attentive. Ustaz Mahmud was later appointed a Senator. I am sure he closed his eyes and listened attentively too.

Ustaz Hj.Manan is a shorter person and has a wry humour. We like to ask him questions which he tolerated. I think Ustaz Haji Manan gave us a lot stuff that you would now call Sex Education. We were in Form Four when Yem, in all innocence asked what ejaculation is.

Ustaz asked Yem how he felt when peeing. Yem replied, it felt good. Ustaz then said ejaculation is the same as peeing, only it felt much better. But the most memorable famous question was from another friend, MatSom. He asked ustaz:

"Apa hukum isap kopek bining kita?" ("What's the law on sucking our wife's breast?")

Ustaz's answer was short and sweet.
"Hukumnya sedap lah" ("It is nice").

May Allah bless our ustaz.

| 12:10 AM :: ::
14 CommentsOldStyle:
  • memang kelakar betul la yang last part tuh...

    By Blogger Orang Kita, at 1:45 AM  
  • God bless them all. Amin.

    By Blogger Kri, at 3:09 AM  
  • Hmmm... I was never so lucky in school. All my Ustazah's were prudes! :P Hehehe... plus, I don't think any of us girls (I was in a Convent) were ever so brave to ask such questions as well. So maybe it's just a guy thing?

    By Blogger DaisyBoo Blacksheep, at 6:42 AM  
  • Hehehehe...hehehehehe...*still grinning like a mad person*

    I had ustazahs when I was in SS. Not as fun, trust me. But our PE and science teacher on the other hand, made up for them!

    By Blogger lion3ss, at 8:43 AM  

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:33 AM  
  • hahahaha ;)

    By Blogger Buaya69, at 2:46 PM  
  • Your ustaz is cheeky enough to say that! Hehe.
    I remember when I was in high school, my ustaz was 'malu-malu' when he told us about 'munakahat'. The students are more 'daring', asking him much questions on the said subject. Hehe.

    By Blogger 3six7, at 3:09 PM  
  • : D ROTFL

    By Blogger Aku Tak Reti, at 5:22 PM  
  • Pokku:

    Your friend MatSom was really daring. Was he asking out of curiousity or just to 'sudi' the ustaz?

    When I was in secondary school in Labok; during one of our Arabic classes, we were calling one of us by his nickname.Ustaz Noruddin then asked in Arabic 'Man Pok Chek?' The whole class laughed and until today I remembered that vividly. I do regret that I only learned very little Arabic language... 'Man' is some of few arabic words that I know & remember the meaning besides 'kirdun' and 'mauzun'...The famous sentence is 'Kirdun akala mauzun'... which I guess not even right in trem of 'Nahu' (grammar)

    Selamak Berbbuko... Makae ggapo hari ning Pokku?.. Ambo make kerabu mangga kemaring...but only have Vimto drink instead of the favourite 'tuak'...

    Sang Kelate

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:25 PM  
  • Hhhmm... I guess I can consider myself lucky as all the ustaz that i had in school was very good in keeping us students interested. Classes were never boring and it was always fun yet full of education in it ;)

    Cheers!!! :D

    By Blogger hyelbaine, at 5:56 PM  
  • Pak Ku,
    Your memories of the ustazs had me in stitches. Yes, I remember ustaz Mahmud Salim who taught me too, briefly, before I left Trengganu. He was once telling us the difference between 'Gantang Baghdad' and 'Gantang Malaysia' and concluded that gantang Malaysia was bigger. Then he added:"Di Malaysia ni memang banyok bende-bende kite lebih besor. Macang batu denge kilometer, batu kite lebih besor..." At which point he stopped and broke out in laughter while the ladies in the class looked the other way. You know of course what 'batu' means in Trengganu. Yes, he was very fond of closing his eyes, and then opening them again after a minute or so with the exclamation "Baik!".

    By Blogger beta-blogger, at 6:28 PM  
  • Pak Ku and Beta-Blogger,
    I dare not add any more my interesting stories with our ustaz.Takut kurus posa.


    By Blogger Mohd Adib Noh, at 7:43 AM  
  • My Ustazah was interesting. When she was teaching us perkara2 yg membatalkan wudhuk, she told us, even if the "part" had already come off, the wudhuk would still be batal.

    So she came up with an example:
    "Katalah awak tengah jalan2, tiba2 terjumpa siput. Awak ambik pegang, tengok2 benda lain ... Batal wudhuk."

    The boys were embarrassed but we girls had a good time laughing. Ha ha ha.

    By Blogger Nectar, at 11:13 AM  
  • The only thing I remembered learning in my religous schol was munakahat. The only thing I remembered learning in muamalat is the lafaz "Saya Jual" and "Saya Beli"

    Hang head in shame

    By Blogger Lollies, at 3:34 PM  
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