A MATTER OF SIZE

I caught the above item in the Malay Mail yesterday. The question that begs to be asked is "Does size matter?" No, I am not talking about cars, houses or noses. I am talking about penises even though I am not supposed to talk about these things on a Friday. In the interest of the mental health of Malaysian Males, I shall try to shed some light into this matter. Prudes or people who are easily offended please stop reading and focus elsewhere.
Before all of you guys go grabbing a ruler or a pair of callipers, let me make a few things clear. First, we, unlike the yet unnamed Thai Minister, should be clear as to the function of the penis. It is for peeing and for sex. Nothing else. I understood that it was used as a political statement in one general election but believe me, it was not designed to be used as such. Get a grip on yourself.
For peeing, size does not matter. Neither does length, unless you are in the habit of peeing through a window and you are a bit lacking in height. Otherwise, urinals are designed to stay where they are and you just adjust yourself according to the flow.
For sex, we should get something clear too. I am talking about sex with a lawfully wedded wife. It should be your own and not someone elses, or else your penis and/or the rest of you would be in grave danger. Sex with yourself shall not be discussed here. Suffice to say, there, size does not matter at all. So, we shall only deal with sex with your wife. Gigolos and tigershow performers have their own job description and prerequisites. We shall not deal with those here.
Now, a woman's sexual organ is elastic. It is designed to expand and contract. Think "One size fits all". Again, size does not matter. It is a scientific fact that only the first two and half inches or so of the vaginal canal are responsive and sensitive. Married men usually have more than two and half inches however young they were when they got married. Of course you might want to talk about G-Spots as well as G-Strings. You will get there. Fret not. G-Spots, like Bluespots and Green Spots are not beyond your reach.
How come then some are so obsessive with size? Maybe we fear that we do not measure up. Measure up to whose? Have you been watching those pornographic VCDs? Male porno stars are all well hung. If you watch these pornos on big screen, they might become horror movies. You must remember that pornos started on small screens so everything must look big. Don't get taken in. Those stars were selected from thousands of hopefuls. Size is important to them.They are not making love, they are making a show. Off-screen, they had a survey. Out of 800 odd men - all shapes, sizes and race, the study concluded that the average penis size is 5.5 inches. This was a western study, mind you. We should make allowances for Asians even though I would believe that the average would apply to us too. So stop reading all those Enlargement spam. Do not buy creams or worse, the pumps. They are just masturbation aids.
For those men not yet married, take the advise of the old people. Allay your fears and marry a virgin. Real virgins do not have big expectations and they can't compare. For those already married, believe me, size does not matter. It is not how big or how long it is, It is how you use it. Use it with imagination, with love and with passion and you will never go wrong. Just be a gentleman all the time. Rise to the occasion.
Have a nice weekend.
UPDATE:
Measurement taken in erect stage. Hard to measure wet noodles.